It is time we turn once again to the appearance of architects. We have already addressed exclusive eye wear, so now we introduce another sacred accessory: satchels. Satchels in and of themselves are not exclusive to architects, only certain types are.
You might notice that all architects carry the same size satchel. This is per the satchel code which dictates that they must be of a uniform size and shape. Other regulations exist such as:
– Satchels must be slightly worn in, even if purchased new. This indicates that the satchel is well-loved, much like the profession of its wearer.
– Satchels may never be referred to as ‘bags’ or ‘purses’, as this would break the unisex appeal code.
– The best satchels will be a worn and creased leather (though no spots are allowed).
– The best satchel will have been purchased for ridiculous amounts of money because it came from Italy (and that makes it better than yours).
– Satchels may be worn on one shoulder, hanging down near the leg, if you have already entered the office or are presently about to exit one. Once outside the building, however, satchels must be worn across the chest. Satchels may not be carried at the side in one hand, as they may be confused with briefcases, and this would be embarrassing for our profession.
– Satchels may not have any logo or brand name showing on the exterior. After all, all the best satchels are handmade in Italy by a single craftsman who doesn’t even name his own shop, much less put a tacky label on his pride and joy. Everyone knows where it came from just by looking.
– Satchels will be kept empty at least 40% of the time- The only acceptable items that may fill a satchel more than 60% of the time include: a moleskine notebook, felt tip markers or pens, a drafting pencil, any apple products, and a metal ruler (wooden rulers do not exist).
– Useful tools such as measuring tapes, working drawings, or meeting notes may not be placed in the satchel. This would cause the satchel to be used too frequently and increase the possibility of it being the victim of a job site accident.
– Acceptable colors include: brown, dark brown, cognac, chocolate, espresso, or any other shade and term of brown. Black is sometimes allowed, though only if the styling is sufficiently different from generic briefcases.
If you are in violation of any satchel codes, please destroy your useful briefcase now and go spend ridiculous amounts of money on an imported accessory.
(Not sure where they got their info, but they should really verify things like this)
You can get your very own architect’s satchel in the architangent swag store. It’s time you looked like an architect!
Written by: Brinn Miracle